They never tell you that cable modem service is a party line.
I was reminded of this when I called Comcast Cable today to enquire why my 8-Mbit download was coming up as about 1.6-Mbit.
After a bit of a discussion I asked "Well, what's your minimum guaranteed service level?" (wearing my Microsoft hat).
"Our what?"
"You know, the minimum speed I'm guaranteed to get even when everyone else is on the island"
"Well. (long pause) Sir, I don't know the answer to that question."
Long discussion followed about peak times and whether they were tracking the usage (I was assured that they do) and how would I get a record of this?
"A record of what?"
"A record of the average or mean usage of my line? If you do line speed tests, I would like to see a printout of them for the last month. Could you mail that to me?"
"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't have the ability to do that."
"Then how do I get them mailed to me?"
"You can't. You have to go to your local Comcast lobby."
"My what? What is a Comcast Lobby?"
"Oh, it's our office where you can get a printout."
"Can they have it ready for me when I go in?"
"Uhh.. no, but they can get you a printout."
Hmmm. I'm sooo tempted to actually go in.
But I have packing to be done. Damn, escalation to the physical plane just is a deal breaker.